Finding a groove...

Now that college is done, my triathlon is next Sunday and my house is back in order, things are starting to settle down. I am trying to find out what life feels like if lived at 65 MPH and not 110 MPH. Ever since I moved to VA 2 years ago to finish school I have been going going going, and now I don't have to anymore. Actually, I've lived my life like that for years and years. 6 maybe. Terrified to slow down and enjoy the life that was all around me...that's changing now.

As 'middle age' comes at me ever so slowly I know what it feels like to want children and not be able to b/c your life isn't set up for them. It's a place in life, rather. Something natural, but real, nonetheless. I used to think it was really scary to wake up one day and the only thing you really have to do is go to work. Ew! I still don't like saying it, but it's a nice place to be. I'm ready for it. Something stable, something to trust, something you can make a healthy budget off of. I start salary living in August and things will be good. I'll sleep in a bed, one without piles of a randomly lived life all over it. I'll be able to eat a lunch sitting down. I'll keep my car free from 'transportable evidence of a busy life' and have it in a way that I won't have to rearrange my stuff to make room for another body. I think I'll wax my car tomorrow.

Keeping in touch with friends who've moved away is important to me. Hanging out with friends that still live here is near the top of my list. Maintaining peace within the walls in which I dwell is a constant prayer, not b.c it is that difficult, 'cause it's not. It's wonderful. It's b/c it's that important. For women, what goes on in other parts of our lives effects the rest of our lives. If home is good, them work is great. If playtime is healthy, then home time is wonderful. It matters.

Staying in constant communication with my family is high on my list of things that will fill my time. A brother in Iraq, the first person to get married is Anna and that's going down in October. I still have 2 young brothers at home that need to know that 'older siblings' care and want to get to know them as they age. Grandmothers living it up as they keep their lives busy with people and tasks. Cousins that I am not nearly as close to with only 8 of them on BOTH sides of my family as people are with 72 on just their mother's side! Leonard!

This week as my first tri nears, I will be asking my body to remember what I want it to do gently, nothing to pushy. Not going to be training too hard. Eating well, as I have been for 3 months since I can afford fresh food again! It's nice to be able to eat oranges and green beans.

Since it's late, I'll go to bed and think about why in the world I'm still up. I need my rest! One more thing though, WEDNESDAY IS GOING TO ROCK! Several really good reasons, to name a few...Anna is turning 25, I am picking up Steven (the youngest in our family) to hang with me till the race, and one other thing that's a surprise. Even I don't know what it's going to be yet, but I'll let you know when I do. Maybe.