North Carolina Beach Exposure . . .

The beach was great! Well, I’m kinda surprised I said that because it started out sucky and ended sucky, but the middle was slammin!

The first day we were there I was in a bad mood, the boys hadn’t slept and the little tike needed time on the boob. So we took care of that, unloaded our car into our ‘living space’ which was the nicest room in the joint. Air conditioning, mini fridge and private full bath and even a little extra room/closet to set up the pack-n-play for Josiah to rest his tired body.

We spent 30 minutes getting ready for a beach trip that I was SURE would only last 10 minutes but we trekked up the driveway, across the road, through the sand, down the boardwalk and onto the piping hot beach sand, which was being blown so hard that I thought “If only I had ink I could give myself a little sand tattoo.”

It was so windy! I had Jonathan wrapped like the Christ Child but in one and half minutes he was both asleep and had his face holes covered with sand =( Josiah was freaking out and Stephen was getting more and more frustrated with the pup tent we brought to keep Jonathan out of the sun. It was flapping around like a loose take-out napkin. We brought weights to put in the corners because we knew it would be windy, but it wasn’t happening that day.

Later that night while the sun was setting I went out to the beach alone to watch a crab hunt and some kite flying. Some friends were also attempting to surf in some choppy waves and getting bashed about. When I thought it was dark enough, I ran back to the house, threw on my suit and headed back to the water. I took off what wasn’t swim wear and jumped in. I thought it was going to be chilly, but it wasn’t bad at all.

The next day was Mother’s Day and a wonderful breakfast came to me while I dozed and breastfed. French Toast on Italian bread (my fav!), crispy bacon and High Pulp Simply Made O.J. (the non-murdering kind) and it couldn’t have been better. I put on my – F R E E Z I N G – wet bathing suit from the night before and set forth to reintroduce myself to the world of surfing with a friend of mine. He was cold during out time in the water but I was just fine. I said, "Advantage number 1 of having kids, a layer of blubber to keep you warm in the winter! And the water." By the way, that's the end of the 'Advantage List.'

It took a little work getting past the break, where all the waves were so we could get behind them and ride some in. It wasn’t a stellar day for surfing. I’m still unsure where the time went because all of a sudden I was too dizzy to lay on the long board and it was two hours later. No waves were ridden by Abigail. I still had energy but I swallowed so much salt water I wanted to hurl. Maybe that’s where Hurly got their name.

The family and I got to spend some better time at the beach and Josiah still wasn’t attracted to the waves coming up to the shore. Something about the shear massive size of the ocean in the eyes of an-almost-2-year-old might have something to do with it. That trip lasted a little longer than our first voyage: more like 25 minutes.

The next day it rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and….all day long. We went to the aquarium a few miles away and that turned out really well. Josiah was interested enough to make paying an entrance fee for Steve and I worth while. And Jonathan slept, but we still took pictures of him too so he will know he was there. That’s important to infants, you know.

For lunch, Steve took off on his own to search for food while I got naps started. He made a few phone calls back with different options, like all good husbands should. This ensures a happy wife! He has good taste and knows what I like. Since it was still raining when he got home with the food, he thought he would get less wet if he jumped out of the passengers side of the car: all of 4 feet closer to the house!

When it was time for dinner I found the car battery dead because Steve forgot to turn the lights off! He would have been reminded by chimes if he had used his own door for exiting like most normal people do! I had a brilliant idea for getting a jump and food… pizza delivery!!! Those people come with charged batteries and hot food! How could this not work?!!!!? We made phone calls to find someone who would come out to us, and explained our situation and promised a handsome tip if a willing person would give a little extra time. All parts of our situation was wrong.

1. We lived too far out for delivery. (This scenario is true of all Baptist Children’s Home of North Carolina housing.)
2. No one would take credit cards over the phone because of fraud.
3. People thought we were going to make pizza out of them while they were looking under a car hood. They didn’t take us seriously.

Since it was raining and we only brought beach clothes and not warm monsoon-type clothing, flagging someone down was out of the question. We called USAA and a tow truck jumped us in 4 minutes. Now, what to do about dinner… it’s almost 9 pm at this point. We drive into ‘town’ 4 miles down the street to one of the places who wouldn’t deliver to our location because we were too far (this was a Monday night mind you) and they told us they were closed! Steve told them who we were and he remembered and just gave us two large pizzas that were already made.

We left the next morning.

Lunch Adventure...

So there was some rice in the fridge at home that I was fixing because I couldn't use noodles with spaghetti sauce because of wheat content so I thought I'd use the rice instead and Steve was standing next to me grilling a cheese sandwich making fun of me by making comments that my rice looked gross and I said shut up because I don't have a choice since I'm not supposed to eat wheat until my doctors appointment to see if I'm allergic to it.

(big breath)

Then I heated up the rice separately from my sauce and when that was done I stuck the sauce in the microwave, started that and smelled the rice which didn't smell very good so I thought that if I tasted it before I joined it with the sauce and thought then that it wasn't good that I wouldn't have wasted the sauce too so I tasted the rice and it sucked!

(big breath)

I gagged on it and then spit it out in the garbage and rinsed my mouth out with orange diet soda and spit that in the sink and yelled "AAaauuuuuuggggg! That's nasty!!!" to Steve because he was upstairs now changing the air filter in the air conditioner and he yelled "What happened!?!" and in between my gargling orange soda and spitting into the sink the timer goes off on the microwave because the sauce is warm but now I have nothing to put it on and I answered “The rice is bad!” =(

(big breath)

So Steve comes down stairs and laughs a little more at my expense, flips his sandwiches and gives me a hug while smiling and I shove him away, called him something petty all the while trying to keep a straight face and acting hurt by his jabbing comments of knowing more than me on the subject of expired food which doesn’t phase me because I grew up in my parents house and lived to tell about it.

(big breath)

Now I’m in a predicament because I’ve got warm sauce, a hungry belly and nothing to put it on for the reason that my starchy base is now expired so I eye a potato (that’s a pun people) in the corner of my small kitchens counter and decide to cut that up, boil it, mash it up and try that with this beautiful doctored spaghetti sauce that my wonderful husband made a few days ago when we entertained a surprise guest from North Carolina who was up for the week end.

(little breath)

It was good.

My Weakness...

I would rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ will rest upon me.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am not perfect and will never boast that it is true. Never should my breath be wasted on trying to convince someone that I am better than what I really am.

If I don’t deal with my weakness properly then they will disqualify the power of my strengths.

Striving in my life is spent trying not to let the devil use my weakness for his purpose. The fear of rejection will not rule my life. I will not fear cultivating intimacy which further displays weakness.

We are divinely disabled by God. I am made incomplete by God’s design because I am made to need God. I don’t have a complete package: nobody on earth does. We all need God. God made women because he saw that men are incomplete without them. They need something they can’t provide for themselves. We need the opposite sex, we need each other, we need God, we need the body of Christ. Humans are made with the same need for God. There are things we can’t do for ourselves which require us to look to God for grace and strength. If we were actually perfect, then we would have no need for God and therefore shouldn’t waste our time worshiping Him.

I will not despise most the weaknesses God placed in my life that make me depend on him. He has to shine through in areas that aren’t taken up by me, places where I lack. God—on purpose—made me incomplete so His glory could shine through just so all would know that we couldn’t do it on our own.

When you notice the way you respond to the weaknesses of other people, its’ telling you what you think about your own weaknesses. If you are overly critical about the weaknesses or situations of other people, then you despise and can’t accept your own. If you are gracious with your own, then you will be gracious with others. God gives us grace for the weaknesses he made us with.

If I had a little magic wand to fix all my problems: maybe give myself endless wealth and comfort, by the time I was done waving that little wand, none of us would need God any longer. Only God alone can take my areas of weaknesses and make them areas of glory. His glory.

I will not live in defeated weakness. What knocks me down will not keep me down because God wants us to fight on. We should be eventually empowered by the trials that set us back.

I will not live in deceptive weakness. Jesus had more compassion on those who admitted their weaknesses. He called the Pharisees ‘white washed tombs” because they looked great on the outside to all who came near or knew of them, but they were thoroughly dead inside. They painted over their weaknesses. People hate hypocrisy and Jesus Christ dealt with it first hand because they thought they had no need for God.

Moses was lead to God by a burning bush. The bush never stopped being a bush. It just sat there an accommodated the presence of God. It converted a man who converted a nation who converted the world.

When God did what he came to do, the bush was still a bush. It didn’t become a rose bush. It didn’t become an oak tree. I want to accommodate the glory of God in my life, but there has to be room. There have to be ‘me parts’ missing. I don’t have to change to be something I’m not. It’s because ‘I’m not’ is the very reason God can use me.

There has to be some reason, some way in my life, that I need God.

I have divine weakness. His power is made perfect in it.

Thank you very much ladies, for the open conversation. May Biblical, open, respectful correction flow within our fellowship. To draw us first to our faces with God, then to open arms with each other, then extended hearts to the lost who see how we treat each other.

It's Public....

because I don't have anything to hide.

Since there is further interest in my previous blog, please allow me to further explain.

ACCOUNTABILITY
Stephen and I have a rule that I am not allowed in his room after 10 PM, no matter what. The door is never closed if I’m in there, no matter the day or the time or the subject matter. He has never entered my bedroom. Ever.

Our roommates (his 2 and my 3) are our active accountability partners who ask us the ‘Hard Questions’ pertaining to the purity of our relationship. We both have 2 close friends out of state who aid in keeping us accountable to our commitment to purity and give us advice. They are kept up to date but since they are not here locally, it is necessary to implement other forms of accountability to safeguard our relationship from a sin that so quickly entangles. All have been very active and do a wonderful job to keep us straight on a weekly basis.

Prior to our engagement, Stephen and I drafted a covenant between us and our Father to clarify lines of purity in our relationship. We signed it, made copies, and gave one to each accountability partner we had so they knew what questions to ask and by what guidelines we are following.

We both needed clear guidelines drawn so a healthy level of respect would be maintained throughout not only our dating relationship and our engagement, but into our marriage as well. The fight gets harder after marriage. Especially one centered on God. Satan hates that the most.

MORE DETAILS
Valentine’s Day was very special me and for Stephen. We looked at the scrap book I made for him in his room until 10:18 pm, and then his roommate came up and reminded us of the time! We were past due to move our get-together down stairs. Since Stephen hadn’t given me the rest of Valentines yet, he asked for permission from his roommates for an extension so we could have a little more time together, and told them what we were going to do. We had a time limit and guidelines to follow and we did just that.

Nothing happened during that time that we needed to ask for forgiveness for from God or from each other, and our accountability partners understand that the covenant we wrote and made with each other was kept. No disrespect was imparted. Nothing was touched that shouldn’t have been. Our relationship is healthy. One act of tender kindness from one adult to another which doesn’t break the laws God has set for our protection is permissible. This isn’t the case for anyone’s relationship at any time.

WHO IS IT FOR?
There are some people who couldn’t handle that level of temptation and Satan would have a green light to come in and do his work. There are some people who are too young to handle that kind of responsibility. Some relationships aren’t to that point yet either, when an intimate moment such as a massage in a romantic setting is appropriate. When there isn’t a definite plan to be married, such as between high schoolers and even some college students, it is not a good idea to share yourself this intimately with someone whom you are not planning to spend the rest of your life with.

As for writing about the happenings in my life: there is an appropriate level of sharing that can take place in a pubic setting that doesn’t embarrass anyone. You don’t know what that level is until someone lets you know that they were bothered with your details.

When I wrote my details about Valentines Day I had in mind grown female readers, my close friends, who know the standard to which Stephen and I keep our relationship. I’ll keep young readers in mind for future postings.

Valentines Day...

Well, yesterday was a good good day for me. Stephen and I were a little worried that we weren't going to be able to get time together until after 9:30 pm and we were right.

Bible Study Fellowship was last night and since I am a group leader, I am required to be there for my ladies, and I wanted to be there. It wouldn't be fair if they all made the effort to come and miss out on the festivities of the day, then I shouldn't eaither. God blessed our time.

During work yesterday I was having a converstaion with a coworker when I ansered the phone and it was Stephen. He said, "Hey babe, whatcha doin'? You might wanna go check your car out!" Oh, I ran outside and there I found in a vase a dozen light and dark pink long stem roses, a bear with a picture frame around his neck with Stephen inside (it was a picture I took of him the day we were engaed...when i took the picture he had his hand in his pocket on my ring and i had no clue!!!). And there was an awesome card too! I loved all of it! He's never had Valentines with a woman before. And not a man either! Just his friends and family, but this is different!

After bible study go out I went to his house to take him a scrap book of our 2005 together to him, and his card. He loved the book and the card, even though I had to take the book back to finish it! How tacky is that!!! I did want him to see it on Valentines Day and not get it late, even if it wasn't finished yet.

Then I learned that he wasn't finished gving me gifts yet!!! MORE? This is great! So he set the room up with aroma therapy candles and gave me a long massage with oils! Oh. My. Goodness! So sweet! Then, he gave me a new shirt to put on so I wouldn't get oil on my work clothes. It has a hat on the front of it and says, "What Would Ashton Do?" He thought it would be great for me to wear because his last name is Ashton!! It is referring to both Jesus and Ashton Kutcher. I'm sure you got that!

So I had a pretty good day! Tell me about yours!

Sooooo Much....

This is ME AND THE MAN right before we "took the plung"...skydiving!
These pictures were taken at Thanksgiving at Anna's house. Steve and I are in front.

This is one of the most exciting times of my life! I am side by side with the ones I love planning my wedding day. We are counting down with dry erase marker on my bathroom mirror.

Please pray, that on top of all this CrAzY planning, that I wouldn't neglect my "previous engagements." I still have Bible Study Fellowship obligations and I can't wait to see how the rest of this year will turn out! My relationships with other people in my life shouldn't be forgotten. Maintaining a healthy relationship with Stephen you would think would be a no-brainer, but I don't want to give up one-on-one time with him to only think about and plan the wedding.

Most importantly, my relationship with Father. This should never, ever, be something that gets pushed aside, no matter what 'life brings.' God brings life! He IS life. I shouldn't have time for much else because I can't get enough of him. I can't think of the last time I was late to something because my personal worship and quiet time was that enriching.

(BIG Dave! Thanks for the new number! I’ve tried the old one and it doesn’t work any more. I can’t wait to hear about your basic training extravaganzas!)

All I wanted for Christmas...

I GOT!

I have the perfect man for me, a ring and a date! And I couldn't be happier! He is so amazing; I don't want to even think about my future apart from him!

The man I have prayed for since I was 11 or 12 is to be mine. He is the man, as I have matured, whom I have thought would be a fantastic match for me, and it’s true. He is the oldest in his family of 4 younger sisters and is 5 years older than me. PERFECT! He has solid character qualities much like the ones my dad displays. Stephen even plays the piano! And very well too! He is so very thoughtful and kind, speaking to me with respect and consideration. His wisdom shows in the few adorable grey hairs that are displayed in his goatee. I love them!!! Yummy!

Stephen Ashton is Christ in flesh to me. He wants to be more and more like the Father who created us from His breath. He won’t put anything, including me in front of his relationship with Almighty God.

I just found another way to post photos, so I’ll do that soon!

About to Thank...

Thanksgiving is almost here to 2005 and my list is LOOOOOooooong! I have already had one thanksgiving dinner. It was put together by my over-astoundingly gracious and talented roommate, The Bex and she did a dang up job at a spread for 8 at our home last Thursday. The meal was intimate and enjoyable. The other Turkey celebration was this last weekend in North Carolina.

Friday I worked a half-day then headed down with my baby, a.k.a. The Ashton, to North Carolina to visit the camp he used to work for the last three years. It was an AWESOME trip. I understand more about Stephen now having seen the woods and meeting some boys and chiefs (co-workers) and mentors in Stephen’s life. It was a good time to relax and escape everyday pressures. I’m not sure how much rest it brought Stephen though! He still pushed himself!

Last night the boys at camp wrapped a turkey and buried it under a MASSIVE house-high pile of wood called a BON-fire! The flames reach past tall pine trees! It was cool to hear how camp had affected each one of the boys, chiefs, supervisors and even the founder and his wife were there. They sang camp songs and drank hot cocoa and ate cookies and we left after that.

I have this Thursday and Friday off and Thanksgiving will be spent at my sisters, who just got married (for those who skipped the last blog!) and lives just down the street from me. My new in-laws are from here and are wonderful people: great, kind and open family. So they will be joining us. Along with my mom, dad and youngest brother Steven. (Please note that this ‘baby’s’ name is spelled differently than my baby’s name!)

My oldest younger brother is still in Iraq and doing great. Probably won’t be able to make it for Thanksgiving with our family, but they will have one over there, and done right! Timmy, the middle of my three younger bros, is in a group home and won’t be able to join us =( That’s not going to be any fun! Tim, we’ll miss you buddy.

Sister's Wedding Story...

HEY! I know you all have wanted to hear about the wedding so I'll tell what I can in the time I have here.

Everyone arrived on time and in style to this destination wedding in South Carolina, Hilton Head Island to be exact. The day was beautiful: it was sun-shiney and warm, cool breeze from the ocean and people stopped to see the wedding. I spent the day with Anna and she did fine until it was time to line up! I heard her say she was the most relaxed she had felt in months while we were in her room getting our hair done, but that was replaced by butterflies in the tummy when the time was approaching. =)

All the grandmas and mom looked GREAT! I have pics of mom and dad that are AWESOME! I made them kiss in one shot and it turned out really well. The boys did a great job ushering the moms and grandmas to their seating. Both Tim and Steven did really well that weekend and I couldn't be prouder!!!!

When I got the pictures developed I got them on a CD so I can share them more easily. I still can't find time to put them on the site: I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT!

My college friend came down and played the violin on the sand and he did a great job. We walked down the sand to the arch they made where the boys and Mike were standing and I watched Mike try to keep himself together and that was funny and hard to do at the same time. If he wanted to he could have seen Anna from far away and watch her walk all the way down to where the chairs and aisle were, but he waited until she was standing with dad at the start of the chairs. Since I had been with Anna and knew what she looked like (NEVER BETTER! Daniel, you would have lost it! Stunning doesn't start to describe her beauty!), I watched Mike start to cry and that made me ball! I'm so glad the pastor started to pray right away because I had to yank my tissue out of my ____________ while everyone's eyes were closed!

The service was short, about 20 minutes, and went well. The kiss at the end was great too! After we marched out we waited for everyone to make it to the courtyard where Cameron was playing his music and there were chairs and little froo-froo foods and drinks while the families stayed and got pictures on the beach.

We all joined the party there in the outdoor courtyard and got to see everyone and take more pictures with cousins I haven’t seen ever and ones I haven’t seen in 11 years.

The reception was nice and laid back. The meal was chicken or roast beef and the cake was many different kinds of cheesecake. Mike’s best man and father made a toast/speech, and so did dad and I. Dad had EVERYBODY rolling! It was GREAT! So funny........but the good thing was he said it like a roller coaster: he would make everybody start to cry then crack a joke. Then he would get serious and say more wonderful things about Anna and his marriage to mom and just when you think you're going to loose it, he would make another JOKE! I was a mess at the end.

And the Truth Will...

SET YOU FREE! SET YOU FREE! Hallelujah! Two Sunday nights ago Steve and I let the youth group know about our ever-developing friendship/romantic involvement with each other! That was great. We made large flash-card signs and did a skit with those: having a conversation back and forth. They started to get the point about halfway thru. I’m glad they know now. That means I don’t have to lie to them anymore! I hated that. After we were done and Steve and I talked about how God has brought us into the friendship we have and now the added bonus of ‘lover’ on top of that I apologized for not being honest with the girls. There were some times when I needed to cover tracks rather aggressively which called for not being honest all the time. Man, I hated to do that. But it’s all out in the open now.

Adults at the church where this youth group is have started to share with Steve and I about how long they’ve known about our relationship, but respected our planning and privacy with the matter not to push it further than we wanted to go at the time.

We are taking steps everyday to glory in the place God has us today and not rush into future plans. Relationships take time to build, even though Steve and I have known each other for over a year, building a relationship with these kinds of implications takes a different measure of attention and care. It is our fullest intention to prayerfully and graciously accept God’s leading in our lives: together.